Funniest stuff ever!

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lechilka26

BoltTalker
Aug 25, 2006
1
0
60
36

Excuse me for offtop, it too funny, haha! :)

Why it is good to be a man?

1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
3. Your last name stays put.
4. The garage is all yours.
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
10. Same work .. more pay.
11. Wrinkles-add character.
12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
17. One mood, ALL the damn time.
18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
20. You can open all your own jars.
26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me.".
27. No maxi-pads.
28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.

so fuunnyy :))
 

rexy2006

Well-Known Member
Dec 17, 2005
10,218
1,794
350
San Diego
lechilka26 said:

Excuse me for offtop, it too funny, haha! :)

Why it is good to be a man?

1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your orgasms are real. Always. not what i heard
3. Your last name stays put.yeah, bastard
4. The garage is all yours. yeah, bastard
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves. sucks
6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid. true for chicks as well
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth. chicks get jerked around
8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
or an att's rass
9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.:icon_eek:
10. Same work .. more pay. f that
11. Wrinkles-add character. f that too
12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.:icon_eek:
13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100. we get screwed again
14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen. unless its full of alkahol
15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. :icon_eek:
16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. owwww
17. One mood, ALL the damn time. false
18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds. sometimes
19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase. full of undies
20. You can open all your own jars. unless ur drunk
26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me.".
27. No maxi-pads.
28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends. ghey
29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. he said "bolt":icon_banana:
31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes. not
32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. can you say mullet???
33. Your belly usually hides your big hips. beer belly, mebbe

so fuunnyy :)) highlarious, f'in highlariouys
f me swingin
 

Johnny Lightning

Go Bolts
Feb 7, 2006
22,974
1,669
350
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]When people say, "I’m so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?
[/FONT][/FONT][/FONT]
 

Johnny Lightning

Go Bolts
Feb 7, 2006
22,974
1,669
350
Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
Why did he that basturd.......................
 

Johnny Lightning

Go Bolts
Feb 7, 2006
22,974
1,669
350
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
 

Johnny Lightning

Go Bolts
Feb 7, 2006
22,974
1,669
350
"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
 

Johnny Lightning

Go Bolts
Feb 7, 2006
22,974
1,669
350
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?
 

Johnny Lightning

Go Bolts
Feb 7, 2006
22,974
1,669
350
Why do dogs sniff other dog’s bottoms to say hello, why don’t they just bark in their face or something?
 

Johnny Lightning

Go Bolts
Feb 7, 2006
22,974
1,669
350
If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money? :lol: